Artist Statement by Cat McAdams

I meditate before I paint to clear my mind of the flow of irrelevant thought. Then intuition can consistently slip in ideas that feel inspired beyond the limits of my personal programming. Painting this way brings in multilevel symbolism, conscious and unconscious. I feel that a painting can be a sustaining source of joy, a catharsis, a joke, a visual koan, and a deepening insight into life.

Traditionally most artists have evolved a personal style that flows from their own particular personality, as expressed within the style of their times and the traditions of their culture. Now we live in a time when all styles and traditions of art are available to us. Also we have a huge explosion of personal growth techniques, which we can use to rid our personalities of limitations. For decades, I've felt compelled to meditate until I am able to paint archetypal visions deep enough to relate to the meanings of human existence. I've been trying to develop technique precise enough to carry a message but also sufficiently sophisticated to get my work into an urban gallery. The preparation has been incredibly time-consuming and difficult. The biggest challenge has been my overly tight brushwork. Brushwork is personal like handwriting. You can't loosen it up unless you loosen up yourself.

Light is my symbol of positive energy. In the monoprints I did from 1998-2003, the light was often seen like a vision of hope at the end of the tunnel. I was in my "Dark Night of the Soul" period, an awful but necessary stage in meditation progress where blocked subconscious material becomes conscious. I quit doing monoprints and returned to painting for more subtlety of color and possibilities of detail and brushstroke. Now I'm spending much of my time in a state of expansive joy, with a feeling of being in the light. I'm eagerly awaiting the subtleties that will emerge as I progress toward deeper immersion in the light. A good friend of mine recently said that I'm painting portraits of energy and doorways into infinity. Personally, I'm aiming for symbolic expressionism.